The Blog

I, like most of the brainwashed technology sheep must have the new updated iPhone, I now also own a collection of scratched battered cracked damaged iphones, I have the 3 the 4 the 5 the 6 you get the picture. As an apple techno freak, there is one thing that is very important to me, a screen protector and not just any screen protector but a privacy screen protector. The beauty of the iPhone screen protector is that I can look at what I want without the prying of anyone's eyes, especially the prying eyes of my unstable, insecure girlfriend of 6 years.

Me and my girlfriend have a very turbulent relationship, hence the need to keep what I look at, or what messages I send, private, hence the privacy screen.

While writing this it's now only sinking in how much I should protect my privacy from my girlfriend, all my devices are password protected, with passwords that are longer than, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

So back to the phone, I took receipt of the new iPhone 7 red special edition the other day and never had a chance to put a new privacy screen, or indeed any screen protector on my new iphone and this was a costly mistake. I was having a laugh with one of mates over a whatsapp conversation and I was telling him about an encounter with my girlfriend's sister, how she kept brushing her big tits past me at her parent's birthday bash. I wasn't sure what was going on or whether I was imagining it but I sent my mate a few pictures of the said sister-in-law from her Facebook page with a caption, "I would love to wank over her face" at the time of writing I was sitting in a airport lounge waiting to board for a trip to the Maldives, my girlfriend Bianca had just nipped out for some duty free, what I didn't realise was that she had forgotten her boarding card and just nipped back and unbeknown to me she standing over me reading my texts.

So, I'm sitting in the Maldives, very bored and very much single. I became a single man in the Virgin Lounge at Heathrow T3 due to my carless message to my mate. I suppose if she really did love me then we could have talked this through, the sister who I thought was teasing me sent me a text telling me what a perverted loser I was.

The ironic and funny thing is, if they both new that I actually wanked over their mother's face when I booked a Harlow escort and she knocked at my hotel door, they really would have something to be upset about.